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A Bit of Change

by Edward St Moritz

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1.
Time Dance 02:20
Time Dance You say time moves slow at the end of a boring day They say time’s too fast in love or going gray Others say time passes fancies in your mind I say time to quit worrying about the time Capitalist hours punched in on the clock Olympic seconds sliced in hundreds for the jock Trains planes trucks and buses run on tock and tick I like the rhythm of my heart when I’m not sick Boil it down so I can taste How you cook with time to waste Dreaming out the window they never call it work Two minutes late your card marked by a manajerk Late for meeting, late for supper, late for school Who made the hour into an iron rule? All we have is one thing then another two Three, four, a thousand more and then there’s me and you We spoon out time by the spaces in between Slow or fast don’t matter, time to dance with me Slow or fast don’t matter, time to dance with me
2.
Slack wire dancers Sometimes on Sunday morning At his cottage by the lake My father took a cable out Hung it between the stakes There was no stretch or tension For his catenary play He was a slack wire dancer A slack wire chancer A slack wire prancer Back in the day. The Dutch army recruited He was the company cook Their circus saw him practice One set was all it took Balancing with one leg chairs A table set with wine He was their slack wire dancer their slack wire prancer They cheered their entrancer One more time A human body rolling Like Lake Erie’s waves One step to place the balance no hand to save Don’t look down My father and my mother came To this Canadian grace But the centre of their family Shifted out of place Whatever dreams they may have had Slipped through the cracks of life They were slack wire dancers Slack wire chancers And one after another fell into night It was on Sunday mornings At the cottage by the shore My father took the cable out But not any more I look back at my life And ask if I’m like him A slack wire dancer An off-balance prancer Some stage frightened chancer Once again
3.
Deer Outside my window I see deer outside my window Deer outside my window Running through the trees Oh, I wish I could run with them Wish I could run with them But they won’t let me “Deer aren’t really out there, father Deer aren’t out there, papa Only cars you see” And they tuck my blanket closer Tuck my blanket closer On my chilly feet You say you love me I know it’s true Even as I love you my legs are dying I can’t run to you I try getting out of bed Getting out of bed Is harder than it seems Farm work with my aunt and uncle For my aunt and uncle Was that all a dream? they say they love me I know it’s true even when I’m smiling My legs are dying I can’t run… I see deer outside my window Deer outside my window No matter what you say I’ll remember them tomorrow Once again tomorrow Once again, once again Once if only one more day.
4.
Promised Land In the shadows of the city there's a place of small relief and hope lies through a bottle and a sour caress of thigh The Promised Land they call it, though some have come to grief when passing through its doors, such as you, such as I late last night summer of the city A pretty pretty boy took me by the hand He talked me up, he shook me down we were going to the Promised Land That bar was hot the food not so much lights all faded band played loud someone hit me from behind everything gone in the dancing crowd refrain: Don't go to....the Promised Land Don't let nobody.....ever take you there They feed you lies....they strip you bare Don't go to the Promised Land. Milk and Honey had a back alley door puke and piss washed in my nose tried to stand with three cracked ribs tried to remember my way back home ah ah ah tripping on the curb ah ah ah Christ! Breathing hurts. Two hours later my apartment door wanted keys as barter for a rumpled bed I buzzed the super I smiled through pain She glared at me her stinkeye said ref You shouldna gone....to the Promised land flashy grit....bitter ecstacy There's a corpse behind....that high marquee don't go To the Promised Land
5.
A bit of change Charlie lives in shadows he’s been sleeping by a wall if you don’t look too hard you won’t see him at all smells like dying shrimp coughs out a lump or two talks like his throat was busted back in ‘62 He used to be so sober he used to be so clean he wore the shoes the workers wear spinning the machine He lost it, all his reasons for a reasonable life his work and god and children and his all too faithful wife Looking for his inner self he fell out of his body an epic epidemic of rage-panicked flight faking his floundering into a mortgaged future... Chorus but Future will not care Past forgot her tears and Present’s begging for a bit of change He sits down on the curb pukes out a chicken pie wipes a sleeve across his face stares into the sky poor choices some might say poverty of choice say more while drink, stink, and government ink Bolt damn near every door Losing his inner self he falls out of his body an epic epidemic of rage-panicked flight making his younger years into imagined futures... but Future will not care Past forgot her tears and Present’s begging for a bit of change Charlie lived in shadows they found him by a wall if you didn’t look too hard you saw nothing at all Call it fate or choice he was alone no one wept a welfare ticket bought his grave nothing, nothing left. Looking for his inner self he fell out of his body an epic epidemic of rage-panicked flight crashed in a drunken haze pissed up the future but Future will not care Past forgot her tears and Present’s begging for a bit of change [repeat chorus] ...begging for a bit of change...for a bit of change
6.
Boogie with the Reaper I was walking to party with friends At their house on the top of a hill It was slick and cold and steep as a bottle of malt As I was making my new year’s way Mr Grim sidled up to me He found my fear, and ground my pace to a halt He looked me over with his one good eye I glared back with both of mine There was a chip on his shoulder the size of an old rotten cross He said “I know you and you know me, You got away seven years ago; Let’s dance to the top and see who takes the loss REF: You’re gonna Boogie with the Reaper Boogie to the Reaper’s delight Boogie with the Reaper You’re comin’ with me tonight I had to get to the top before the dance was done Or I’d fall like stone on the snow I started my move he put his hand into my chest didn’t have to press didn’t have to lead he tossed an anvil on my ribs Meat-filled mouth said “This is for the best” REF: It was dosido and pirouette foxtrot driveway from there Grim sashayed “Aren’t we having a ball?” One step, three steps, ten steps then I staggered to my friend’s front door He melted into shade as I fell into the hall I Boogied with the Reaper, Boogied with the Reaper He thought he had me in his sights I Boogied with the Reaper, Boogied with the Reaper, and I ain’t dead tonight Boogied with the Reaper And I ain’t even seen the light Boogied with the Reaper I’m ventilating and upright, that’s right!
7.
In the Arms of Morphia I wish I could stay on this island Where tides tear holes in the shore Where cry of gull and steamer’s hulls Fly into the deep and more In the sweet arms of Morphia Caught between river and sea I slept in the black and woke in the grey The sun never waited for me, for me The sun never waited for me I wish I could stay in this orchard Of apples and nipples and rum Where wisp woody smoke and lavender toke Foretell of good things to come Deep in the arms of Morphia Step nightmare and ecstasy’s feet I remember them well Those ghostly old shells But they always caught up to me, to me They always caught up to me Now I must leave by evening God’s fingernail beckons me west On rivers of asphalt, road salt, and no fault My wickedness searching for rest Away from your arms, oh Morphia I’ll miss your tart foretaste of death If my memory’s lost Like October’s first frost Desire will keep you like breath, my breath Desire ever keeps you like breath.
8.
Prophet’s Yesterday Quarter after midnight I caught myself and Forced a broken bottle Through the eyes of the next three minutes Disfigured time For the next hearse home I took out the panthers To piss on the chrome of the sleeping rich It was all I could do With nothing to say No time like no time like no time like A prophet’s yesterday the swirl in my gut And my hurricane heart Dream of the big emptyTear reason apart in wet ribbons There’s a psychopath gouging Out the social contract Where white and black Means no going back to his good old days It was all I could do With something to say No time like no time like no time like A prophet’s yesterday the slouching beast the hydra hate take the helm of the shithole of state oh it’s foundering fast white wheel house stained with blood and fear anybody other don’t belong there (they’re not like us and they don’t like us) fires of doubters burn the west dry Our fires of love leave the moon too high The shadow of the valley churns the middle of the sea It’s come for you, it’s come for me The water is rising, my sweet young things High water dark and astonishing You’ll use your plastic to slice your wrist Till your bible falls from your cold, dead fist This is all I can do With too much to say This time is like a Prophet’s yesterday
9.
Caught 03:26
Caught Ah---- Nightmare in a gale of blood and shattered concrete hills Ah---- Smell of corpse and cordite in my throat are photo stills All might be true Bones will not stay – gone Ah---- Fear and flesh like flotsam from the shipwreck of the day Ah---- Cover faces of the dead and crows will fly away Body of child Grief numb and wild –Aah! I am a scream in the storm Tossed in the spiral of fate Outside with you Bones in my arms - gone Ah---- I-- saw you in my dreamtime laughing at the sky Ah---- All the stars, oh, all the stars were falling in your eyes Flames caught your hair My name broke the air Exiles in truth-crusted shoes We are the refugee soul Outside with you Memory in arms – gone.
10.
Arrorró mi niño Mariá and Jesùs have a new mom and dad Foster and Betty deGrace five years since the cages Jesus still stares into space Maria remembers her motherwailing their names Her voice fading into the weepingFace full of fear and shame And the children around them scream mamì y papì The babies can only scream. Maria turned sixteen the other day Jesus is barely ten Foster and Betty made up their birthdays No papers, no proof, no pen The painting of Elvis watches When Foster mounts the stairs takes Jesus into a dark corner Maria cannot shut her ears And the children around him scream mamì y papì The babies can only scream. what do you do how did love make you what do you do how does love shake you And what will you do As love finally breaks you when La Justicia de Dios es la Muerte [The justice of God is Death] now deep after silent midnight Maria kisses Jesus goodbye She finds Foster’s gun in the closet Heavy with memory`s sigh Two in the heads of the sleepers Two more in their Elvis-stained hearts and then one to finish Foster`s secret Maria’s hands feel like falling apart And the children around her scream mamì y papì The babies can only scream. Jesus eyes wide hears one more shot And the ghost of a lullaby… Arrorró mi niño,arrorró mi sol, arrorró pedazo, de mi corazón.
11.
Circus Tent 03:33
Circus Tent There’s a smell in the air of the old circus tent You think it is mould but you gag from the scent of the festering crowds who don’t notice at all They’re used to the stink It’s been here since the fall Of our town. When you first came in It dazzled like wine lights camera distraction right movement in time You swam in the swell you shouted so proud In this terrible safety No thinking allowed In our town Civility’s remnants vanish in lies of the ringmaster’s mouth And the mob’s ringing cries When you breathe in the hate of that fiery flood Do you see the bodies? Do you taste the blood? You crave to belong you risk all the loss Of yourself to the clan Or the tribe or the boss They brand you with words First weapons of choice to bulleted points you take your dead voice Going down. our neighbours’ remains vanish in lies of the ringmaster’s mouth and the mob’s ringing cries you breathe in the hate of that fiery flood (Yiddish) Du zest di harugim, un [you see the bodies] bist toyem dos blut [and you taste the blood] Christchurch now weeps With Sandy Hook school With Charlotteville, Pittsburgh, Quebec City, too Too many others The fear does not cease And words comfort less In a hard search for peace There’s a smell in the air Of that old circus tent centuries of shattered innocents sent to the limb of the tree,bits of flesh on the wall… from the back of our memory we need to call back our home Humanity’s vestiges laid in the dark Shut the ringmaster’s mouth Search for that faint spark Don’t breathe in the hate of the fiery flood Remember the bodies Remember the blood Remember the bodies Remember the blood Remember the bodies Remember…
12.
Love May Yet 03:12
Love may yet REF: Day will rise Night will tumble After all our living’s done Bread and drink make us humble Love may yet bind us as one Longest night’s a half-caught sigh Longest day a lightning spark Solstice swings across the sky Morning always birthing Shadows creep like wall-strung vine Light of day a seed in soil Ephemeral as thought in time Starry nights unwinding REF> insignificant as dust my love and hate a fool’s conceit old earthy turns as turn she must calendars unravelling REF> Let the frauds and despots steal Karma waits between our hands Care and passion take the wheel Spinning into justice Day will rise Night will tumble After all our living’s done Bread and drink together humble Love may yet bind us as one Love may yet bind us as one Love may yet find us
13.
Curmudgeon 02:55
Curmudgeon Ninety-three times I have seen the winter come always arriving with it's finery-o Don't tell me the world will end Rocks and trees and seas can fend Very well without so much as a by-your-leave-o Very well without a by-your-leave-o Bones are brittle and my joints do ache Knees go a-snapple and a-crackery-o Don't tell me I should behave I can't hear well your breath you can save I don't suffer fools and their quackery-o Any fools and their quackery-o Most of my friends are crazy or dead Killed by the wars and the boardrooms-o It's lonely, sure, and long are the days But not as long as nights in this place When I long for the charms of my Marguerite-o For the charms of my Marguerite-o Marguerite born in Trois-Rivieres Came with me to Ontario Six sons, four daughters, we buried three The rest have raised fine families Marguerite died eight winters ago She died eight winters ago Jesus might come, but then again not Me and God have a bargainy-o My mouth and heart straight as a rail He'll mind his own when I fall and fail I'll only fear the suffering-o Only fear the suffering-o
14.
Pearls of light A boy looked through the window On a cold November night Wind fingering through a broken pane In shadows of the far hills Glowing pearls of light The 9:15 to Kingston once again Can you hear him dream? Can you hear him sing? I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train I don’t care where it takes me I don’t know what I’ll bring I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train There’s a parking lot and burgers Where the old house used to be so much smaller than I remember a spur line and a trestle A larger maple tree But pearls of light still roll on in November Can you hear me dream? Can you hear me sing? I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train I don’t care where it takes me I don’t know what I’ll bring I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train I look from my apartment almost Christmas eve Pearls of light through the window trees A muddle of middle-aged men In a laundromat of dreams Smoke despair as yellow fingers freeze Can you hear them dream? Can you hear them sing? I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train I don’t care where it takes me I don’t know what I’ll bring I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride on that train I don’t care where it takes me I’ll never know what I’ll bring I wanna ride on that train I wanna ride….
15.
The Dream 03:37
The Dream Some days my heart is white water wave Some nights my heart is delta barge Sometimes it feels like toddler’s fist can a thing so small Love so large? Sometimes my heart is exile slave It whispers and screams some refugee song Somewhere there’s a piece I must have missed Can a thing so lost Love so strong? Your name comes to my lips unbidden When I introduce my lover to friends Then I dream of you unhidden I kiss you and weep I weep in a river And this river, never ends La de da da da.. Much to my sweet consternation Someone finds my precious jail Who knows that’s where I cannot live in Can a thing so bright Love and fail? When my heart ignores its station Blind, unlocks forgotten cells Trespassing still and unforgiven Can a thing so bad Love too well? Your name comes to my lips unbidden When I speak about my lover to friends Then I dream of you unhidden I kiss you and weep I weep in a river And this river, never ends La de da da da...
16.
Paradise Found Rainbow in the morning mist sunlight paints the bay Bell Island slowly reappears stay my darlin’, stay Surf on pebbled stony beach Cackled rushing spray Calls like wind through hillside trees Stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay you’ve come from far, from far away Stay my darlin’ stay Moose prints on the hiking trail new friends on the way my weary legs will bring me back stay my darlin’ stay I’m full of sunset on the deck whales breathe in the bay voices whisper in my ears stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay you’ve come from far, from far away Stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay Stay my darlin’ stay It’s too late now, too late for leavin’ Stay my darlin’ stay

about

This is a darker album than my previous one. It reflects the times we live in. It is not the violence and injustice I fear – it is the indifference and despair borne of the powerlessness we feel as a response. It is the wilful ignorance that results in giving up and lying down and drawing our circle of care so close it chokes us. I hope that exposing this dark side and offering a small light to see our way through will give reason to continue the struggle against that indifference and be a bit of change.

credits

released April 30, 2020

Guitar, vocals: Edward St Moritz
Producer: Ray Dillard, Crush Studio, Springwater, Ontario, Canada
Co-producer: Edward St Moritz

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Edward St Moritz Barrie, Ontario

Ed lives in Collingwood Ontario.

He and Don Bray produced his first CD of original songs Small Things Shining Bright and has just completed a second project A Bit of Change with Ray Dillard.

Why a darkside navigator?
“I am responsible for the directions I take in those gray territories. I do go into depression, but I also know how to sail through it. My songs are the maps of experience there.”
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